Chicago Marathon 2009

Originally posted: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:07am


This was my 1st marathon. Like most first times, I thought way too much about it, I cried a lot, it was over before I knew it, there are embarrasing pictures online, it cost $120...& I can't wait to do it again.

Here are some quick notes before I forget:

-the night before I was thinking about the movie "Run Fat Boy Run" & how he wakes up late the day of the race.
-my iPhone died during the middle of the night...& that's what I use for my alarm!!
-parked the car in dowtown Chicago @ 5:32am.
-the other 44,999 runners showed up @ 5:34am...so perfect timing!
-my aunt Bernie was able to get tickets for my ant Barb & my Dad to hang out in one of those fancy ass tents.
-that dude from the Six Flags commercials creeps me out. This has nothing to do w/the race...it just needed to be said.
-so I check my stuff in & head to the start...I look around & I'm just surrounded by buildings & lake michigan...no other runners.
-since I'm the first runner on the line @ the freakin Chicago Marathon...a worker comes up to me to make small talk. I don't want to tell the old dude that I haven't trained properly & will probably die...so I ask him if starting blocks will be provided because I plan on sprinting this mofo...he just looked @ me & smiled politely...
-other runners finally show up & give me weird looks because I'm wearing a trash bag...@ least I think that's why I got the looks...
-I finally got smart & started listening to my iPod when other runners started talking about their 20 mile training runs...did I mention that my furthest continuous run lately has been 9 miles & that I've really only been "training" for 3 weeks?
-experts say you should do this & do that to prepare.
-experts can bite my ass.
-at this point I'm w/my Nike pace team & in a sea of people...both intimidating & exciting @ the same time!
-we hear the screams and we know the race has started.
-it takes about twenty minutes to get to the official start line.
-this is why it's super important to start your own watch!!
-I wanted to hang w/the 4:45 Nike pace team in hopes of @ least finishing & maybe getting a good time...maybe under 5 hours?
-they went too slow so I caught up to the 4:30 group. The lead runner was a huge douchebag! He was talking about how great he was. I ran ahead of this group too.
-the people of Chicago are amazing!! We had screaming fans the entire 26.2 miles!!
-there were also a ton of funny signs. I think my favorite was "it's ok to poop if you need to"
-speaking of...I had to pee after mile two...
-by mile 3 I realized I was another 7 minutes ahead of pace...so no bathroom for me...the entire race..
-by mile 8 I was about 12 minutes ahead of pace & changed my goal to finish around 4:30...
-this was also around the time that dumbasses were pulling out their cell phones & texting. If you're walking or doing this as a fun run thats fine. But if you're in front of me & you stop to take a call...I will push you...
-made sure to stop @ every water station & drank the super Gatorade. Kinda had to chew it. It was awesome!
-the ground was so sticky it felt like running in a movie theater...
-later in the race they had powerade goo packets. It was like eating poop. I ate three...
-there were a few "hills" on the course...anytime we crossed a bridge. Most people around me were walking up it. This was when I sprinted.
-that proves that having sucky runs up mountains in AZ can help w/races in IL.
-something that kinda freaked me out was that I thought I saw Papa Corrigan in the crowd around mile 3 & again around mile 18. The second time I saw him a girl ran by with a sign on her ass. It said, "do it for Nana." As we all know, if a Corrigan is going to communicate from beyond the grave...it's going to be in writing on a hot girls ass...
-so Papa was there in spirit...
-i took each mile one @ a time & didn't start to feel tired until mile 22...where some jerkasses were smoking...boy it was nice to breathe in some smoke after running 22miles...
-mile 23 was the first time I thought that I might not be able to make it. Then I made a deal w/myself...if I came all this way & couldn't run 3.2 more miles, I would throw myself into traffic.
-I'm a good motivator.
-mile 24 it fealt like the toes on my left foot were broken.
-with one mile to go I knew that I would be close to 4:30...so I tried to push it...
-at the very end you have to go up a ramp & then down to the finish line. Right in front of me was a guy w/one leg and crutches that was showboating for the crowd. He kept waiving his crutches around. I wanted to shove him (to show that I treat douchebags w/dissabilities the same) but decided that the crowd would have probably turned on me. Suckers...
-so i finish in 4:29:23, #18,472 out of 45,000 people...sure only 37,942 ran...it's not my fault if people didn't show! (#12,294 male & #2,185 age 35-39)
-after the finish you spend about 20 minutes going through an assembly line.
-you get your fancy space age foil wrap to keep warm.
-they cut off your microchip
-they give you a bagel & a beer...did I mention how much I love Chicago?
-you get your finishers medal
-more beer + cookies, crackers, etc etc
-then you grab your bag that you checked in before the race. I was stupid & forgot to put my phone in the bag.
-I walked about 4 miles trying to find my family. NOT fun after running a marathon!

That's all I can think of right now. It took two days before my legs felt normal again. I have a head cold & I'm killing time @ midway airport by typing this on my iPhone....