Chicago Marathon 2009 (part Duh)

Originally posted: Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 3:23pm

There were a few things I forgot about that had happened during the race. I need to write this stuff down so that it doesn’t get left out of my presidential memoirs someday. The first was an amazing phenomenon that occurred right around the halfway point. I looked around and all of the women were gone! Then I started to notice a trend. All of the port-o-poties had huge lines of women standing…I’m not a math wiz…but around 10 port-o-poties with at least four rows of women standing in line…that’s like a thousand women waiting to go to the bathroom together.

The other repressed memory occurred when we crossed the bridge and turned onto Wacker Drive. Saying that name out loud has always made me giggle like a little school girl…and I’m not afraid to admit it. So as we cross over, I point up to the street sign and say, “Huh huh…Wacker..” The young lady running next to me gives a dirty look…and then runs faster to get away from me. I never saw her again.

A week after the race I tried running a nice easy 3 miles and experienced extreme foot pain. I haven’t seen a doctor in many years but new that I couldn’t go to the Urgent Care for fear of catching the AIDs or some new mutation of the pig virus. So it took a month to get in to see a family doctor and I ended up seeing the foot doctor a week after that.

Here is a short excerpt of the reason why I probably won’t go back to see any more doctors:

Doc1: So you’re fat and ran a marathon?
Corrigan: Yes. I just told you that.
D1: Wow!
C: I know!
D1: You’ve had major stress fractures before, maybe you have brittle bones like that one guy in the M.Night Shamalan movie…
C: The one where the aliens come down to a planet that consists mostly of water only to find out that water kills them?
D1: No…the one with Bruce Willis…
C: With that creepy kid that sees dead people?
D1: No…I think it’s Samuel L Jackson…
C: Snakes on a Plane?
D1: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
C: Tommy Boy! I love Tommy Boy!
D1: Who’s Tommy Boy?
C: Oh…
D1: Go get an x-ray.
C: Okay.

Doc2: So…YOU ran a marathon?
Corrigan: Yes. I just told you that.
D2: Wow!
C: I know!
D2: Looking at your x-ray, you came close to getting a stress fracture but instead just had a deep Metatarsal bruising (which I thought he said Menstrual so I giggled like a little school girl).
C: Uh huh (pretending like I knew what this pretty boy from Chicago was talking about).
D2: Here are some inserts to help out. You’ll need to get the expensive ones if you’re going to keep on running long distance.
C: Okay.
D2: And from now on you might want to think about sticking to 5 or 10K races.
C: I said my foot hurt…not my vagina...
D2: What?
C: So when can I get those inserts?

I’m still waiting on those inserts. I plan on running a 5K for Thanksgiving, a little over 6 miles as part of the Tucson Marathon Relay in December and the PF Chang’s Rock n Roll Marathon in January (2 marathons in less than 4 months…for those of you keeping score at home). There’s a 50 mile race in March but the deadline to sign up was in October…